‘HE HIT HIS MOUTH ON THE RAIL!’

 

*After the fall…

The sun shone brightly, in sync with the nation’s celebration mood.  It was a day to remember. A day destined for the annals of history, to honour Nigeria's hard-won democracy. Twenty-five unbroken years!

The air was electric. The stage was set, the crowd buzzing. All eyes were on President Bola Ahmed Tinubu as he took to the podium to deliver his speech. 

Done, he proceeded to mount the motorcade to inspect the presidential parade. Then, it happened in a flash! 

One moment,  President Tinubu was walking sure-footedly between his security aides towards the ride.  A few ginger steps and he would be there. The military parade would start as soon as he was in place, waving at his people. But, as he lifted a foot to step onto the back of the truck, gravity had a different plan.

*The security aides rushed support him up.

Suddenly, as the president ascended the steps of the car, the unthinkable happened – he lost footing and - “Humpty Dumpty” had a great fall! Instead of waving at  the parade, Tinubu found himself inspecting the floor of the truck instead. It was a “balablue”!

The moment seemed to last an eternity. One woman shouted in Hausa: “He has hit his mouth on the rail.” In that split second, the nation collectively held its breath, then exhaled in a cacophony of reactions that perfectly captured the spirit of Nigerian resilience and sarcasm.

The crowd’s reaction was quintessentially Nigerian. Instead of gasps of concern, a chorus of “Minimum wage! Minimum wage!” erupted from one corner.“Minimum wage! Minimum wage!” Evidently, the worsening economic impacts and the plight of the working class ignited the chorus!

*Fall is human: Even Joe Biden fell at an Air Force event.

To many, that fall represented the Nigerian economy. Even a lady with fallen breasts shouted in the crowd: “He fell just like the naira!” A biting comment indeed, drawing a parallel between the president’s stumble and the relentless plummet of the national currency. The metaphor was too apt to ignore. The naira’s struggles personified in the commander-in-chief's unintended acrobatics!

Not to be outdone, a philosophical observer declared, “His fall represents Nigeria’s fall.” A poetic soul, seeing deep symbolism in the stumble. He equated the physical fall to the country’s myriad challenges. For this commentator, the President’s tumble was a metaphor for every pothole, power outage, fuel price hike and policy failure the country has faced.

* A doctor attending to Vladimir Putin of Russia, after a fall.

It was a  grim statement that resonated with many who felt the nation has seen better days. The symbolism was not lost on the crowd, even if the sentiment was wrapped in a layer of cynicism thicker than Lagos traffic.

Yet, amidst the sea of satire, a few voices rose in defense of the president. “Fall is human!” they declared, reminding everyone that even leaders are not immune to the occasional mishap. Peter Obi, one of Tinubu’s election opponents, and Senator Shehu Sani agreed.

*Angela Merkel, recovering from injury sustained during a fall.

Some folks turned their ire towards the protocol and security officers, questioning the untidiness around the president’s fall. “How could they let this happen?” they demanded, suggesting that someone should be held accountable.

In a true Nigerian fashion, social media was ablaze with memes and witty commentary within minutes. A particularly popular meme featured the president photoshopped into various scenarios – depicting him in a dramatic slow-mo dive, complete with an epic soundtrack. Tinubu suddenly became the latest hero in an unintended action movie. The nation, it seemed, had found a new pastime: Presidential Tumble 2024.

But Tinubu is not the first leader to fall in public. On March 19, 2021, Joe Biden of the United States tripped multiple times, while climbing the stairs to Air Force One - at Joint Base Andrews. The White House later claimed wind blew him off his feet.

Vladimir Putin of Russia fell on May 10, 2017, during a hockey game in Sochi. He tripped over a red carpet laid out on the ice. Also, Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor (2005-2021), stumbled on  November 10, 2016, while climbing onto a stage at the Christian Democratic Union (CDU) party conference in Demmin.

*And…Mugabe fell.

Similarly, Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe, on February 4, 2015

 fell on a staircase after delivering a speech at Harare International Airport. As he was stepping off a podium, he missed a step and tumbled.

There was also President George W. Bush of the United States (2001-2009), who fainted and fell on January 13, 2002. The White House physician attributed the incident to a temporary drop in heart rate after Bush choked on a pretzel, while watching a football game.

In Tinubu’s case, he “fell in love”with Nigeria, all over again. And Nigerians quickly turned what could have been a moment of national embarrassment into a reflection of their unparalleled ability to find humor in adversity. President Tinubu, no stranger to the resilience and spirit of his fellow Nigerians, might well chuckle at the creativity his fall inspired. After all, if one cannot laugh at oneself, what can one do? In the end, when life gives you a tumble, rise and make a comedy show out of it.